Monday, January 26, 2009

Day 2 - Second Experiment - Distressed Chicken

Henrietta! Our beautiful chicken.

Hello. Today we begin another attempt at following Chef Nordo down the path of Carnal Food. This is the first attempt at the main entree. To create a shockingly visceral chicken embued w/ fantastic flavors.
Day Two ($68- pomegranate juice, shallots, knives sharpened, largest beet in the world, and lots of wine- again. Yvette's already drunk. Wish us luck.)

Brining the bird Henrietta- 4 hrs this time
1.5 gal water
10 oz pom juice
1 cup frozen blueberries
2 cups kosher salt
1 cup sugar
2 crushed bay leaves
pinch of all spice
3 peeled elephant garlic cloves
4.56 lb chicken
Makes one very pink chicken.

The plan:
Roast Red Pepper
Debone Henrietta from the inside out, leaving the body
Seed pomegranate
Stuff chicken
Cook chicken
Make pomegranate molasses
Serves 4?

Yvette's first deboning of chicken:
First interesting point is to snap the wish bone from the shoulder joints. Reach into the pink carcass and grab hold and twist. Snap. Very intimate. We apologize Henrietta. Yvette needs a straw for her vinho because her hands are all chicken-y.

Henrietta makes many squishy, biological sounds as we cut the sinews freeing her wings and go in for cracking of the collarbones. It’s quite indecent.

After easily popping our the collar bones and shoulder blades we peel Henrietta back to expose the skeleton. She resists. She’s shy and scared. Yvette scrapes and pulls.

“Let me in.” I feel faint.

“What the fuck is that piece of bird? I’ve never seen anything like that before and I’m swimming in bird juice. Jesus Christ. She’s peeled.”





Bird inside out. Bird is flat. Yvette’s hands are pruned. It’s a bad fisting movie.





Stuffing:

Cup of corn. Cup of beets. 6 sausage links. 1/4 cup pom seeds. Cabbage.

Foreseeable problem w/ stuffing- nothing to hold it together. No breading. Henrietta fits nicely in her dish. She looks a little bruised.







Into the oven. 400 deg.



And now for the molasses. Pomegranate. 1/3 cup of Lemon Juice. 1/4 cup of Sugar. Yvette recommends not squeezing lemons directly after skewering oneself. It reduces for an hour, no boiling, just simmer. A cup of this molasses will last eons.

After just over an hour the molasses is extremely bubbly, fluffy molasses, cooked until bubbly, very, very bubbly for a very long time, and very fluffy. Will it harden like candy or flow like molasses? We do not know. We believe it may have been cooked hotter than instructed but it was good. It may be burnt but I say not so. Close. It clings to your teeth immediately when it hardens.

Very thick. And probably burnt.

The bird has browned too quickly. Henrietta needs tinfoil booties. Seems antithetical to the brining.

A second nest experiment is done. No quantities from day one. 375 deg. 15-20 min. Cup of buttermilk. 1/2 cup parmesan. 1 egg. Salt. 2 soaked loafs until dripping then squeeze? Too saturated? Looks like a fucking muffin. Not a nest at all. We were either high last time or it was much, much drier. Much more like shredded wheat. Failure.

Day #3- will be the feathers.

And now the sauce. 3 tblsp of chicken grease. 1 minced big ass shallot. 2 cloves garlic. Soften shallots and garlic with compliments. 3/4 cups red wine and 1 cup white wine. Whisk. Few minutes. 2 cups beef buillon. 2 tbls of pomegranate molasses. 7 teaspoons of Henrietta’s oil. Cornstarch done in a haphazard way. 3 applications of cornstarch. No method.

Meanwhile the chicken is in a little tub of grease. (See above). And the chicken is freed of the oven. Henrietta is beautific.

Do the innards need to be more gelatinous? And how do we cook/ present the chicken?

And the bird is bathed in sauce. Too brown perhaps. No blood. Sans feathers. On first cut Henrietta is genuinely disgusting.

Beets good. Cabbage good. Roasted peppers good. Pomegranates a bit lost. Corn lost. Henrietta unforgivably dry. Intestines work. Need to present intestines as spilling, redden the sauce, and find a feather feature. Hernrietta needs to be pulled apart and left out on the plate.


And Max says puree the beets. Yes. And smaller sausages. Yes. And shredded cabbage. And more hot peppers. Yes. Yes.

Maybe.
Today was a grand experiment full of pluck and vinegar. An excellent stabbing.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

S&M Dining


Why do Seattle's Hottest Chefs Want to Be the Boss of You?


Hey, these people are trying.  It's a bit pansy for our tastes but they're looking in the right direction.  Not everyone can be carnal.